love

Parallel Lines

Side by side we lie –
similar in many ways –
but different still.
Simple and straight;
close enough to be together,
together forever…
But never quite joining.
We’ll never be one
(as much as I want it)
as much as I feel I need it:
we’ll always be apart
but always there…
Right next to each other:
never leaving;
never straying apart.
Equidistant feelings
between the slopes of
emotions,
struggles,
joys,
heartbreaks.
We can never touch;
we can never meet up:
there’s no point…

So I’ll be here forever,
by your side
infinitely in both directions,
never distancing myself from you
because I am what I am
only because of you.

Confused Feeling at the Apex of Labyrinths

how do you move on
on from the top
the best feeling
feeling of happiness
feeling of belonging
feeling of acceptance

how do you move on
when you feel so attached
attached at the apex
apex of passion
apex of care
apex of talent

how do you move on
when the heart holds you back
the mind confused
confused of the feelings
confused of the future
confused of the implications

how do you move on
on from the best
faithful leaps into unknown labyrinths
labyrinths of darkness
labyrinths of insecurity
labyrinths of fear

How do you move on?

“Hope deferred maketh the something sick”

When it’s so close you can feel it –
but you can’t actually feel.
When it’s almost real it seems impossible –
but really it is.
When it feels so right and real –
but it can’t be real from one side.
When you see every sign that shows it will happen –
but those signs aren’t for you.
When you think it’s your time –
but it’s your time to be denied.

When?
But?

Only time will tell but
slowly
it will wither you away
and hope will
gnaw
gnaw
gnaw
…

The Changed Gaze

Coffee bean brown galaxies
eat all they see.
Process and perceive
the kaleidoscope world:
stained glass
of hate
and love.
I walk into their field
and they blink – disturbed.
Slowly, slowly adjusting
their centres to this
new shape in their universe.
Careful and weary:
they have burned from
salty tears too many times…

Adjusted to the new light –
bright and refreshing.
Coffee bean brown galaxies
sparkling in the presence;
trusting and no longer searching for fault lines.
A smile carved neatly by trust and friendship
into the gaze.
Gaze of giving.
Gaze of care.
Gaze of truth.
The changed gaze of invite
into the galaxy of warmth.

Drug Smell

flirtatious sensations
ripple
rippple
ripppple
through the stagnant air
and stir along:

Stale Smoke
&
Sweet Surprise

mix in chemical convulsions
ecstasy smelling
cocaine crazy
hallucinogenic happiness
and a cloud of clarity

a reminder tied around your neck
loosely leading toward my heart
please don’t cut it
please don’t cut it
please don’t cut me

Misunderstood

Walk out; walk in,
into my restless life:
a lie
a waiting
a lie…
Waiting for you; lying about me.
Let you in;
let me out.
I want to shout!
Hold me close;
hold me far.
I might not die tonight.
Be with me –
complete me.

It’s cold out here
where love don’t shine.
Give me a reason,
stay for a while.
Give me your shirt –
let me inhale your fumes.

It feels so right!
This can’t be wrong.

Blossom-tree

“Why do you
do so much for
the Blossom-tree?”

“Much? Hardly so!”

“But I’ve seen you at it
day and night;
at the call of the roots of
the Blossom-tree!”

“The Blossom-tree
has taught me much,
I owe it ten-fold its lessons.”

“It seems like all it does is take,
take up your nutrients
and gulp your precious water-hours.”

“I do not see it as so…
For when a tree as beautiful as
the Blossom-tree
is planted in a field near,
it is a blessing, a rare-blessing
only afforded to few in this
brief life-breath.”

“Be careful, I say!
Snakes love the trees of beauty.”

“Being bitten is worth
the blossom-beauty.”

“Don’t let it take on constant-occasions!”

“It is not an act of taking
so much as
the blossom-tree
giving to me in memories
of beauty and
sweet fragrances of life.”

his One

he cares from the shadows –
unknown to his Love.
watching and supporting;
protecting and planning.
sunken into the darkness:
outside looking In.
never a day without thoughts
filled with love and compassion
for the One.
unknown to his Love…
he sometimes allows himself
the guilty pleasure
of thinking about being discovered
and being
loved
by his One.
but,
unknown to his Love,
he feels the torment and pain
of being unknown in a knowable world.

his only comfort is knowing, though,
that his One is living happier than before.
and this is his only mission:
to love a Love although unknown.

Pain

Red-cloaked and black-shoed:
It strolls nimbly into life…
Not a care but to cause…
Emotionless and cruel;
Hard and cold.
Streaks of blood seep
Slowly out of deep wounds
And crimson tears carve a neat path
Downward lonely cheeks.
It envelopes the insides,
Wrapping itself tightly around
The organ that beats against the force and
Gives life while being given death.
Untouchable, undiagnosable.
Cruel. Cunning.
Sharp-shooting. Deep-wounding.
Full of itself.

So what?

So what if I trip and
fall face first into failure?
So what if they laugh as I struggle?
So what if I make mistakes
and do stupid things?
So what if I live on the edge?
So what if you judge me?
So what if I damage myself?
So what if I don’t have your support?
So what if you all leave my side?
So what if I lose it all?
So what if I end up with no one?
So what if I’m the failure everyone least expected?
So what if I fall
from the throne I’ve placed my reputation on?
So what if I let go?
So what if I go wild like they said?
So what if I stuff it all up?

So what?