friendship

In Mourning

My soul is dressed in black today
as I attended another one
and my anxiety is back
(I can feel its kneeding in my chest)
and I’m blinking to keep away tears.
It’s a dusky dawn of drain,
my thoughts of care just a stain.

I walk around mute
but it’s loud inside my mind
with thoughts of this and that
how maybe I said something wrong
or didn’t do enough
(despite knowing I did more).

But I lower another one
into the cold, hard soil of memory:
Rest in peace, what never was.
Rest in peace.

An apology, unaccepted

It has been a few years now…
The roses have bloomed five or six times,
five or six times petals snapped off
in the winds, in the rains.
A few loved ones have passed;
a few scars have been gained.

Yet, here I wait, hopeful;
somewhat, perhaps.
A life unexamined
is a life not worth living,
yet still a life, surely?
I washed my hands of old times
and I know the dust is yet unsettled
On those ornaments of a grudge.

The dust sits thick and brown,
like my apology:
forgotten, but not quite lost.

Splinters

I give my hand
You stare at it
Green eyes meet look away
Nobody is perfect
I know
But I’m here for you
Don’t you see?
You can’t
You’ve turned the
Other way.
I tried to carry
Your cross with you
But you’d rather
Let it fall
And break into

Splinters.

Maybe heroes aren’t real
After all.
Maybe the cross we carry
Will be the last weight
That weighs down our
Hopelessly lost purpled souls.

Exit Here?

I want to fit out
but I can’t escape
the twisty smoke and cool alcohol.
I’m so unique like you
and you and you.
Mirrors always tell me what they tell you.
My Insta is a flood of what gets likes
and my tattooed infinity sign is finite
on this skin.
I want to fit out
but friends keep making me:
they hold me high…
The parties aren’t fun,
the clubs play music that sells by formula,
the beat of it all is always the same.
Day in and out
mom and dad don’t talk:
whose parents do?
I want to fit out
but Disney has me hooked
singing frozen melodies I can’t let go.
And my bank account
is as low as me.
I want to fit out,
help me out the window:
I know it’s cliché but I want to leave.
I don’t want to be a statistic.
I just want to fit out.

Same Moon

Look to the moon
on clear nights;
know I’m looking too.
Smile through any pain,
knowing it’s the same moon!
Our eyes meet on its unexplored surface,
like two souls meet in life.
Laugh through the loneliness
and I’ll laugh through mine.
And we’ll both howl at the same moon,
dancing because it’ll be fine.

Broken pieces joined by moonbeams
of longing.
We know it will be okay,
because even in darkness
Light shines like Hope.

Strangers

“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight, before, deny it, eyes
For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”
– Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare

You’re a gift sent
by the universe
disguised and hidden:
but there.
A path I’ve crossed by chance
merging with mine in this moment
to form this road
lined with pillars of
honesty,
support,
trust.
Strangers to each other;
two nobodies
pulled towards being somebodies
to each other.
Little planets floating in space
needing each other’s gravitational pull
of care.

Parallel Lines

Side by side we lie –
similar in many ways –
but different still.
Simple and straight;
close enough to be together,
together forever…
But never quite joining.
We’ll never be one
(as much as I want it)
as much as I feel I need it:
we’ll always be apart
but always there…
Right next to each other:
never leaving;
never straying apart.
Equidistant feelings
between the slopes of
emotions,
struggles,
joys,
heartbreaks.
We can never touch;
we can never meet up:
there’s no point…

So I’ll be here forever,
by your side
infinitely in both directions,
never distancing myself from you
because I am what I am
only because of you.

The Changed Gaze

Coffee bean brown galaxies
eat all they see.
Process and perceive
the kaleidoscope world:
stained glass
of hate
and love.
I walk into their field
and they blink – disturbed.
Slowly, slowly adjusting
their centres to this
new shape in their universe.
Careful and weary:
they have burned from
salty tears too many times…

Adjusted to the new light –
bright and refreshing.
Coffee bean brown galaxies
sparkling in the presence;
trusting and no longer searching for fault lines.
A smile carved neatly by trust and friendship
into the gaze.
Gaze of giving.
Gaze of care.
Gaze of truth.
The changed gaze of invite
into the galaxy of warmth.

There

We build each other up to
help each other when we fall.

Always there for each other
like a shadow to a tree.
Mutual respect and honesty
that radiates from the deepest
and most meaningful place:
Unexplained.
So powerful.
Both at the top of the world,
yet both wanting the
other to touch stars.
Standing united rather than
apart.

We build each other up to
help each other when we fall.

People will try pull us
down
down
down
to get themselves up,
but we want to help them up
the Truthful way.
Friends will become strangers and
acquaintance friends;
that’s the cycle:
cyclically natural.

We build each other up to
help each other when we fall.

Any position of the extreme
(highness or lowness)
will always be subject to the
scrutiny of common man!
Common man merely watches
and speculates at the validity,
but who needs the validity
of the exterior when you
have heart of Truth.

We build each other up to
make each other great.