I’m quitting the show
Ain’t my time to shine
Time to quicksand myself
Deep into my mind
No silence up in these fires
Can’t catch a break in these tides
Don’t know which way is up
But I know I’m going down
So mad at all these spectres
Don’t know if they’re mine
But they whisper me stories
And I can’t sleep at night
I’m afraid of that silence
But I need that constant buzz
So I just sit here ruminating
How nobody else hears these sounds
You love it when I write you a sweet love poem,
but rage scarlet when I smash you like limestone
with my shiny words and these strange metaphors…
We fell like Icarus, hubris was the cause.
I saw your lusty list of your past lovers,
I was but one under your starched white covers.
Staring at the city with you – I felt whole.
Now I’m left with pepperminted loneliness and paracetamol.
How does it feel to be free from my millstone?
Read between these coloured-in rhymes: there lies my tone.
Now you’ll see me in the shadows of the full moon,
surreptitiously shining on your bed: we died too soon.
Plush toy lies destroyed:
cute monkey face
spewing white guts
shattered on floor:
shards of expensive china
scattered like wrecked puzzle pieces
Dead flowers in
decomposition of beauty;
dried out leaves
sit like ashes –
Empty bed with
stained with unseeables:
regret, lust, mistakes, lies, uncertainties.
Epitaph of Loss;
Requiem of Silence.
I walk down to the lonely stream –
The water is shining like the sun
And I sit on our big rock.
I feel you sit down next to me.
We used to throw pebbles,
Little pebbles at the fish.
The water reminds me of you –
It still glistens like your soul: clear and pure.
The wind gently rustles the reeds
And I know you’re there –
I can smell it,
Your spirit is in the fresh air.
I walk along the riverside
Feeling the sand under my feet
Knowing things happened too quickly.
Our tree still stands tall –
Beautiful and green with life.
I can see you perched in a branch
Right where you felt at peace.
Our little waterfall trickles softly…
I peer over and see my face – for a second –
Then blurred out by my tears…
Tears of joy that you’re happy now.
I stare out of the misted window at the snow
And somehow I see your young face and I know
That you’re safe now away from the pain
Because you’re safely aboard Heaven’s luxury train.
Your smiling face brightens up my dark days;
It gives me strength, makes me brave in indescribable ways.
I can carry on knowing you’re with me;
Through me perhaps you can be.
Even in the salty tears of my heartache
I see your strength and it makes my demons seem fake.
You went too soon via a way too cruel:
This is my motivation, my fuel
Because one day I will heal the scars,
Turning the burnt out souls into stars.
It was the hardest thing to see leave,
But I know that you could no longer breathe.
One day I’ll see you again and we can share
Our stories we couldn’t bear.
In your final hours I felt your soul shine;
And it was then I knew it would all be fine.