hurt

He’s Yours

I never stood a chance:
I already counted myself

out.

I don’t belong here,
take him away with you
on a cloud of happy hedonism.
And I’ll watch on my back
as the cloud changes form
to the demons I see inside me.

I’m used to this feeling
of knives stabbing inside,
and I have fertile furrows
down my cheeks.
He’s yours after all,
I could never fit in the picture,
the camera was built for two –

and I’m a third.

I give in, I give up.
I bow out:
applaud and approve.

Advertisements

Romanticised Fuckup

Stumble into a crowded haze:
searching and seeking fun times…
DRUGIE LUSTY SEXUALLY ALCOHOLIC EUPHORIALS
hedonistic t-shirts
snapback suppressions
skinny jeans suffocating
used needles
white mirrors
rolled up notes
broken bulbs:
ruined in these ruins…

But we want this.

Razor blades
rotten teeth
failed jobs
butchered hearts
& puffy scars.
Dozen pills popping
dawn to dusk sipping,
wars & weapons
shooting and stabbing at rules
to pass the time.

Do we even care?

I don’t care
don’t care about you.
Taught by my father
who was never there
to abandon and run,
evade and suppress.
This is the life I want, I preach!

Striving for Club 27
HELL YEAH!
We’re c-c-crazy!
Live fast die young,
I don’t wanna live.
Don’t even care!

No compassion here.
Pull the trigger on yourself,
brother bear.

Insecurity Security

She stumbles along the corridors
of her life and is slightly ashamed.
She hides, sticks to the walls;
head down, eyes lowered.
Her stride mimics her esteem:
insecure; weak; damaged.

Living in a world where
hate is celebrated
and love is seen as weak.
She is confused, insecure.
Her tears comfort her;
the pain reassures
she is alive.
In absence of tears
she feels dead:
they make her feel like that.

She avoids mirrors;
dodges photos.
Sits at the back, mute,
no attention is good attention,
she says to her teddy bear friend.

But she always believed.

She found an equal.
Her dead spirit was raised
from the grave of
corridors and classrooms.
Her tears dried up;
the clouds began to fade.
She never knew
the sun was so bright and hot.

She was saved.
Saved by self-discovery
of inner beauty
magazines dare not talk of:
saved by her
Insecurity Security.