When I have time

So who doesn’t have time now?
Amid the pandemic.
Alongside the hours:
bodies moving slowly
in small spaces
going in circles
like second hands
on a weathered clock
hanging on wallpapered concrete.
“When I have time,
we can make plans.”
Saving face;
biding time.

“Hello, can I help you?”
“Hi, yes. I’m looking for…”

Measured in loneliness.

The Unrequited Struggle

In every room there stands a different couple:
They show affection and their love seems to double.
We won’t ever feel that, my friend, we won’t ever feel that.

Society screams in my ear saying,
“You’re such a failure so stop playing”:
But we were always excluded, my friend, we were always excluded.

Arrived at a party, someone beautiful offered me a drink;
Told me I was nice, like a brother, made them think.
This is where we belong, my friend, this is where we belong.

Went out on a Friday night to a popular bar,
Everyone was in the arms of another star.
I felt the loneliness, my friend, I felt the loneliness.

Saw a married couple walking down the street;
Their love was as strong and unbreakable as a fleet.
Oh if we could only imagine, my friend, if we could only imagine.

Thought I heard someone call my name softly in the dark –
Turns out that it was just the beating of my lonely heart’s stark
My soul is eternally alone, my friend, my soul is eternally alone.

Dreamed that I saw my hand intertwined with someone new,
It seemed so real, something so rare, so few.
I awoke to my nightmare, my friend, I awoke to my nightmare.

Had a vision of my final hour of life;
It seemed I had with a love conquered all strife.
I am just delusional, my friend, I am just delusion.